It's almost the all-star break and the flubbies are like a gajillion games out of first place. They're like 0 and 72 against the last place Pirates. No Cub should make the all-star team. So, if I were the new owner of the team, I'd...
- fire Jim Hendry and hire me...
- early retire Pinella and call up Ryno
- eat Zambrano's contract and trade him for a Single-A prospect (or put him in RF or DH, in the meantime)
- trade D-Lee for a Double-A prospect...bring back Micah
- and while we're at it, package Nady, Baker, Tracy and Fukudome and throw in Jeff Samardzija
- Tell Aramis to man up or move on
- Fonte - YES
- More Sam Fuld
- Bring back Reed Johnson and DeRo
- Move spring training back to Catalina (or San Clemente)
- Beat the freakin' Pirates
- Send in these guys:
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