Characters:
Cubby as Young Pup (YP)
Sugar as New Girl (NG)
Scene:
Standing on a street corner
NG: Why are we standing on this street corner anyway? We're not some do-wop duo.
YP: Obviously, we're posing for a picture.
NG: Than why aren't you looking at the camera?
YP: I like to pretend I'm part cat and do whatever I want.
NG: Well, you're big enough to be a puma
YP: At least I'm not co-dependent, following the humans every move like you.
NG: I like the humans...
YP: yeah, but do you have to fawn over them? You're not some mindless Bichon.
NG: Thats low! And curly! Take it back...
YP: Fine. Why you wearing that bow in your fur anyway?
NG: It's not fur, it's hair. And I like to look pretty for the humans.
YP: ...said the Bichon
NG: Hey! Frise for you to say...
YP: Sorry...
NG: How's your paw doing anyway?
YP: Oh, I faked that.
NG: What!?
YP: When the humans give you medicine, they wrap it in food. And now that they've put me on a diet and stopped giving us treats, a dog has to get creative.
NG: Well, if you never made them go to the vet, they wouldn't have put you on a diet...
YP: Uh! You're smarter than you look New Girl. But you're no Zooey Deschanel...
NG: Who? Never mind. But how come if you're on the diet, I'm not getting treats either?
YP: Sympathy diet. Besides you have to maintain your girlish figure. What if the humans want to pimp you out for four more litters?
NG: That's not going to happen. Medically impossible. Treats were my second favorite part of the day!
YP: What was your first? Stealing the toys out of my mouth? That's annoying by the way. Don't forget I'm a puma!
NG: Nope. My favorite is climbing on top of the Momma Human for some quality cuddle time. Or a ride in the car. I love a ride in the car. Can't wait for a ride in the car.
YP: You're crazy! What? Didn't they have cars in Texas? My favorite is pretending I'm a puma out on the tundra stalking my prey and stealing the pizza crusts out of the garbage.
NG: Yeah, I'm the crazy one!
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