The Vic

Awesome weekend of skim boarding competition.  The grandparents stayed all day. Even the wife made an appearance. Video pending. 

Stats

Just to give you an idea as to how popular my post on "Yiddish words for penis" is, here's a chart.  And why is "My 2nd post" more popular than "My 1st post" or even "My last post"?  Feel free to read these posts by searching the "search box" in the upper right (except for the Chinese one)...

Jilly's Rock & Roll Bowling BDay

"Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."

ISIS ISIS Baby

Yo, Maliki, Let's kick it!

ISIS ISIS Baby, ISIS ISIS Baby

All right stop, Collaborate and listen

ISIS is back with a new insurrection

Something grabs a hold of me tightly

Flow like an oil field daily and nightly

Will it ever stop? Yo – I don't know

Turn off the lights and I'll glow

To the extreme Iraq a mic like a vandal

Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.

Dance, Go rush the Speaker Boehner

says we can’t retreat from the world stage like a loner

Deadly, when I piss off Obama

He’ll stop the terrorists, like he did Osama

Love it or leave it, You better gain way

You better hit bull's eye, The kid don't play

If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it

Check out the hook while John Kerry resolves it

ISIS ISIS Baby, ISIS ISIS Baby

ISIS ISIS Baby, ISIS ISIS Baby

Now that the party is jumping

With the bass kicked in, and the oilfields are pumpin'

Taking control of the north and west, no faking

Eating up towns like a pound of bacon

Burning them they ain't quick and nimble

I go crazy when I hear a cymbal

And a hi hat, like one worn by my granddad

I'm on a roll and it's time to go to Bagdad

Rollin' into Mosul

Seizing American-made equipment, being anti-social

The Shi’ites on standby, begging to stay alive

Did you stop? No – I just gave them a Sunni hi five

Kept on pursuing to the next stop

I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block

That block was dead

Yo – so I continued to Kirkuk.

Girls were hot wearing less than burkas

Maliki ruling like the Kaisers

Obama sending 300 advisors

Iran on the scene, You know what I mean

What we need is Adam Levine

If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it

Check out the hook while John Kerry resolves it

ISIS ISIS Baby, ISIS ISIS Baby

ISIS ISIS Baby, ISIS ISIS Baby

Yo, man, let's get out of here! Word to your mother!

Surviving summer vacation: Day 1

I awoke at dawn.  The fauna's incessant chirping to greet the day rouses me from a multiple dog encumbered slumber.  I alit from my perch, lightly treading downstairs, seeking the solitary shelter of my office enclave.  I trade maniacally as if endlessly treading water, stressfully fighting to end the day at break even.  I successfully forage for a grain based cereal resembling the alphabet.  And then, just when you thought it was safe to proceed with the day, the offspring make their presence known.  The morning's serenity is shattered, like a loud playlist of electro-pop and video game soundtracks.  The bursting-with-energy eldest is soon taxied off to his idyllic day at the beach, skimming the gnar that is fiery Aliso.  Skim up Skimmer Dude - enjoy your last carefree summer of, as William Wallace put it:  FREEDOM.  The introverted youngest, fearing repercussions, makes rare appearances - trying to remain incognito as she entertains herself with her latest survival gadget (a graduation present of a Nintendo 3DS), only presenting herself for sustenance, e.g. Ramen.  I am able to round her up and commandeer her to walk the remaining beasts.  It's only the first day of a long summer marooned with these two unstructured rug rats.  I don't know how I would survive for long, if not for hammock!

Trending

I don't often agree with Kim Jong-un.  The North Korean government decried the latest Seth Rogen movie as a "most wanton act of terror and an act of war."  Neighbors was indeed a sophomoric, bathroom humor filled, one-dimensionally acted insult to all of us with families or who went to college.  Apatow should be appalled.  Wait, Korea was talking about Rogen's upcoming movie where he poses as a journalist who is asked by the CIA to assassinate Kim Jong-un during a granted interview.  I don't have a problem with that.  Never mind.

Today mark's the five year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death.  Jam on.  The media is treating it like it should be a national holiday.  He was a past his prime, drug addled, possible pedophile.  But his death-aversay will always remind me of the Cruise of Doom and my long lost belly button.

World Cup mania is upon us.  And by mania I mean:  how can you watch swarthy men running back and forth, for 90 plus minutes, like whirling Dervishes?  It makes baseball, a thinking man's game, seem like a barn burner.  Sure, the US v Portugal match had moments of pure exhilaration.  The excruciatingly painful snatch of victory within the last 30 seconds was only offset by the smile upon Cubby's and Sugar's beaks.  They are Portuguese Water Dogs after all.  But even they wouldn't bite another player like that Uruguayan "player" Suarez - although, to tell the tooth, that did break up the monotony.  Maybe after he get's banned, he should go play for North Korea, in case Seth Rogen shows up.

Graduation Card

In case you can't read it:

"You've made it out of that SOUR PATCH elementary school!  At times it was hard and you had MOUNDS of homework but you always SCOR'd good grades!  You always KRACKEL people up with your WHOPPER of humor.  :)  Middle school is full of BIG HUNKs & MR. GOODBARs.  You are so smart and one day you will make 100 GRAND.  You are a SWEET TART.  We love you, NERDS (Mom & Dad)

20K Blog views!!!

mmm....pie!

School's out for the summer..

They Say It's your Birthday

Mango Mafia ...

... goes to a dance.  And a mosh pit breaks out.

The Mafia

Guys and Dolls

Good ol' reliable Nathan

Yosemite

Before & After

Winter is Coming

But now the days are short, I'm in the autumn of my years

And I think of my life as vintage wine

From fine old kegs

From the brim to the dregs

It poured sweet and clear

It was a very good year

Summertime is upon us.  June is almost over.  I have completed the binging of Orange is the new Black's sophomore season.  Game of Thrones is on hiatus.  The motts have completed middle and elementary schools.  The seasonal migrations of the grandparents are imminent.

The summer solstice occurs when the tilt of a planet's semi-axis is most inclined toward the sun.  My axis is most inclined towards the sun when I frequent my hammock.  The solstice also marks the mid point of this year's blog book, not that anyone reads the tomes.  But I blog on, therefore I am.  The posts remain for posterity like fine old kegs (some posts finer than others), from the brim to the dregs.  So far, it's been a very good year to blog, indeed.  Here's to a fantastic finish to MMXIV...

Gogo Greene's

Decided to take the "Beast" out for a spin. No, not Cubby. Beast is what we have nicknamed the new ride. And by "out for a spin," I mean to Yosemite.  Actually, up for Steph's friend's wedding. Josh stayed behind to go to a dance. No internet, no cell, no TV....much anxiety and withdrawals.  Also lots of tall trees.  Jilly handling it like a trooper though.  

Videographer of the year

Magic Bus

Meet the new car, same as the old car

Josh da man!

Father's Day

Insert from Jilly's card

Breki @ Surfin' Donuts

Happy Flag Day

Took the fluffies to dog beach.  Shared a brekkie burrito from Angelo's.  Napped.  Gymed.  Laundried.  NGL?  Picked up the skimmer dude from Aliso.  Jilly hung out with her new bestie:  electronics, but managed to take a break for a meatball sub.  And now off to our celebratory anniversary dinner at the usually anniversary dinner celebratory spot.  Yum.

Let the weekend celebration begin...

Took the bride to see the Cowboy Junkies last night at the Coach House.  I had first seen them in 1988 at Mississippi Waters on Laclede's Landing.  26 years later, they still rocked...as much as the soft-singing, mellow Junkies could rock.  Margot still in good voice, just looking a bit more matronly.  Some cool new stuff, but highlights included Sweet Jane, Misguided Angel and Murder in the Trailer Park Tonight.  I am still addicted, yeehaw!

Hawaiian Day

Best of (mostly) animated eyebrows ... by Jillian

Sports Rant

Oh look, Nadal won the French Open...shocker.  Who'd he beat?  Choke-avik?  Joke-avik?  Something like that.  He beat a dead horse.

A horse is a horse, of course.  Watched California Chrome come up short in his bid for the triple crown.  I didn't buy into the hype, but was still fairly disappointed.  With only 11 triple crown horse racing winners (compared to like 54 baseball triple crown winners), it is indeed a rare hoof feat.  The last being Affirmed in 1978, just a year after Seattle Slew did it.  Something like 20 horses have failed to produce on the 3rd leg.  He came up lame and couldn't hold off the other fresher racers, which makes it even more difficult to complete this hat trick in the modern era.  Still, we could have used a hero in these trying times - even if it was just a horse.

Super Bowl L will be plain ol' Super Bowl 50.  They said "L" was graphically challenged.  They said "Who would buy a hat with an L on it?"  Lenore would!   It should be Super Bowl L - for lame.

Kings appeared to be running away with the Stanley Cup finals.  At least it's not New York.  Still should have been the Hawks!  I blame Josh, who despite his birth in the Windy City, rooted for the more local team.  I'm only a little bitter...

Finally, since I posted about the Flubbies, they have won 5 games in a row.  They now possess the 4th worst record in baseball.  Progress!  Lame, but progress.  June swoon indeed.

Mutual of Omaha presents:

...the rare and elusive Jillian in the wild.  Seldom seen outside of her natural habitat - in front of an iPhone - the born boogie boarder made an exceptional outing, appearing for a friend's beach birthday bash.  

Art by Bubbe

D-Day

“Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!” ~ Oscar Wilde


Today is National Donut Day - the first Friday of every June.  I wish it was June every month.  Began in 1938 by the Salvation Army, the holiday celebrates those who served...donuts in World War I.  And it celebrates donuts!  (not to be confused with International Jelly-filled doughnuts day)  It's pretty ironic that the celebration coincides with the 70th anniversary of D-Day.  Who knew the D stood for donuts?  I'd probably parachute into enemy territory for a Maple Bourbon too...

Ode to the Donut

Deep fried and sweetened,

You can't wait to be eaten.

Sprinkled or covered with glaze,

You cannot escape my lusty gaze.

Tasty torus shaped piece of dough,

How I love you so!

A very important power point presentation by Jilly

Pulp Fiction

June Swoon

So, after watching the Old Man Show this morning, I was perusing this antiquarian paper format of transmitting a recount of recent happenstance, when I came across the funny sports pages.  I was not astonished to acknowledge that the Cubbies already possessed a stranglehold on the leagues worst record.  On the bright side, how can you get any lower than the lowest winning percentage in all of baseball?  I'm not sure, but as a true Cubs fan who has survived a multitude of June Swoons, I have faith they'll come up with something.

It got me thinking about the word "swoon".  No, it's not a fat swan nor a special spoon for eating watermelon.  It actually refers to a state of hysterical rapture or ecstasy, to be overcome with emotion - like when young bobbysoxers went nuts over Sinatra.  In retrospect, that doesn't seem to hysterical, but rather justified.  Oh yeah, "swoon" also means to faint or lose consciousness.

And a quick Google search surprisingly related the word to the stock market more than the Cubs.  So far, the old adage, "Sell in May and go away," hasn't held true.  The market continues to make steady, but not exponential new highs.  Rates are low, earnings decent, and easing continues.  Never fight the Fed.  A lack of exuberance keeps the indexes marching upward.  No hysterical rapture here.  That being said, I trade both long and short.  And hopefully, my account continues to move in the right direction.

So, although the Cubs don't seem to resemble The Second Coming anytime soon, it would be difficult to play anymore unconsciously than they already have been.  Difficult, but not impossible.  If only I could take the Cubs both long and short as well.  I remain an equal opportunity optimist.

Besides, we have to see if the Blackhawks can stave off elimination for the 7th time this post season and return to the Stanley Cup finals tonight!  Here's hoping no one faints in June, we see lots of fat swans, and eat plenty of watermelon.  And welcome to Jillian's 11th birthday month, my 16th anniversary (swoon!), & graduation from middle and elementary schools!

p.s.  Hawks just lost in overtime after not being behind the whole game.  Major bummer.  It's gonna be a long June.  At least I'll have several more hours of free time, now that I don't have to watch the finals...