Showing posts with label funglish. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funglish. Show all posts

Friday, April 23, 2010

TJ's Terrific Travels and Terrible Travails

After spending several years basking in the desert sun, our intrepid hero has returned for another trek through the foreboding fiscal canyons.  With a Scylla named Wall to his left and a Charybdis named Broad to his right, TJ bravely ventures in search of hidden treasures, wary of menacing monsters.  Although he has fearlessly faced these creatures in the past - demons as mysterious as the amazon, with misleading names like Mr. Softy, Beemer, Gold Man, Googly and countless other yahoos - these guardians of untold wealth have grown faster and fiercer since TJ's last encounters.

No sooner than he had entered the arena, TJ found himself face-to-face with a formidable foe:  Sandisk.  Now this beast, nicknamed Sandy, had an unusual power.  It would crash to the floor, suddenly and violently rise up to the ceiling, and take a step forward, destroying all in its path.  Yet TJ had seen this type of hellion before and was not afraid.  He saw his opportunity.

Sandy stepped towards TJ, crashed to the floor, and quickly jerked itself skyward.  Moments before it hit the ceiling, TJ launched himself on top of his foe.  Reaching into his pocket, he whipped out a vial labeled "Get Short."  It was a shrinking potion.  But Sandy, who didn't like being called Sandy, had earned the right to be immune to this potion.  With TJ perilously perched on Sandy's shoulders, the monster uncharacteristically did not crash to the floor, but instead, continued to rise.  Higher and higher, until it crashed through the ceiling, ripping the shirt right off TJ's back.  TJ went skyward with Sandy, until he was tossed aside, like day old meatloaf.  Our hero was badly bruised, but would live to fight another day.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Happy Erf Day

When I left my house, at 4:57 am, my car-mometer said 44 degrees.  WTF?

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Happy St. Humprey's Day (sllightly lesser known than Patrick's day)

From TV's Parenthood:


Son:  I got something in my house ... it's a possom ...rat ....racoon...i don't know something

Dad:  call an exterminator

Son:  it's personal

Dad:  personal?

Son:  yeah, every night he's up on the roof making noise right above us... it feels like's it deliberate... like he's... mocking me....i gotta get rid of it...

Dad:  well, sonny, you know it could be something else...

Son:  like what a weasel?

Dad:  a weasel?  No, something psychological..

Son:  it's not psychological.

Dad:  something your manifesting...

Son:  I'm not manifesting anything...

Dad:  you seem king of resistant to the idea...

and scene

Monday, March 15, 2010

Beware the Ides of March





The tIDES are stirring up tsunamis

VP BIDEn is pissing off the Israelis

PrIDE is one of seven sins

IDEologues are idiots

list Monday, a request



  • One hen


  • Two ducks


  • Three squawking geese


  • Four limerick oysters


  • Five corpulent porpoises


  • Six pair of Don Alverzo's tweezers


  • Seven thousand Macedonians in full battle array


  • Eight brass monkeys from the ancient sacred crypts of Egypt


  • Nine apathetic, sympathetic, diabetic, old men on roller skates with a marked propensity towards procrastination and sloth


  • Ten lyrical, spherical diabolical denizens of the deep who hall stall around the corner of the quo of the quay of the quivery, all at the same time.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Happy Pi Day



Ode to Bald Spaghetti


Vests do not have sleeves.

Trees would be bare without leaves.

I don't want Joe Namath's knees.

Please pass the parmesan cheese.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

And now for a segue...

Went to Newport today
to ride on a Segway.
I rode it near and far
to Corona Del Mar.
I rode it far and near
out along the wooden pier.

Far, near
kept it in first gear.
Near, far
stopped for a Balboa bar.

Far, near, here, there,
I rode it everywhere.

With the grace of an Ocelot,
like gallant Sir Lancelot
in the days of ol' Camelot.

I rode with stylish panache.
I'd make proud my Jill and Josh.
In great joy, I was awash.

Without any screech,
gliding by the beach.
Zooming by the sand's edge,
as I drove out to the Wedge.

Continuous motion
along the blue ocean.
A gift that made me happy,
from my beautiful family.

Monday, January 18, 2010

MLK Service Day



It was a cold and wet January morn when the family Greene left their abode.  Their destination:  family volunteer day.  Off to the Aliso Viejo Boys and Girls Club to help scrub tables and chairs, organize books, and be generally helpful.  Fortuitously, the rain prevented outdoor activities such as painting and cleaning picnic tables.  Needless to say, the kids were troopers as they learned valuable values.  We actually finished up over an hour early.  It wasn't all altruistic, however, as we earned passes to Disneyland for our efforts.

Later on, we drove up to Woodland Hills for a television show pitch.  Josh got to play a version of a new game called "Funglish" in front of network execs.  They'll decide if they want to make a tv show out of it for the Discovery Kids network (soon to be renamed HUB).  Josh was awesome, outplaying all the other kids, including 12 & 13 year olds.   Jillie wanted to play so bad.  We'll be buying the home version.

What Jillie calls deodorant:  "armpit shampoo"

And now a short film by Josh:  short film by josh