Characters:
Fozzie as Old Man Dog (OMD)
Cubby as Young Pup (YP)
Scene:
Dogs on couch
YP: Why do you always get the middle of the couch?
OMD: (Yawns) Because I'm not a furry blob named Cubby.
YP: Hey, it's all muscle old man.
OMD: I know, you're a horse.
YP: I'm a Portuguese water dog, just like you.
OMD: Speaking of which, it's been awhile since our last bull session.
YP: I told you, I'm a PWD.
OMD: It's time for another tête-à-tête.
YP: A what? That sounds dirty.
OMD: A powwow, a confab, a convo...let's rap.
YP: Got my mind on my money and my money on my mind...
OMD: Not that kind of rap.
YP: Don't be dissing snoop d-o-double-g
OMD: I'm more of a Beastie Boys dog, myself. Anyway, let's chat.
YP: I got a better idea, let's chow.
OMD: That's half your problem. And another thing, stop chewing up things.
YP: Things? What you mean things?
OMD: Umbrellas, cartons of milk, your pride. Keep it up and they'll think you're a Bichon!
YP: They are pretty frizzy.
OMD: Oy.
YP: Speaking of which. A Bichon walked into a bar with a duck under his paw. The bartender saw them and said, "Hey, what are you doing bringing that pig in here?" The Bichon answered, "That's not a pig; it's a duck." And the bartender replied, "I was talking to the duck!"
OMD: That's quacktastic. But let's get back on a point...
YP: Oh, this Pointer walks into a bar with dog poop on his snout and says to the bartender, "Look, what I almost stepped in."
OMD: Wocka wocka.
YP: That's why they call you Fozzie Bear.
OMD: And you're Miss Piggy.
YP: No, it's not a pig; it's a duck!
OMD: You're going to need to duck if I have to come over there!
YP: You were saying...
OMD: Now, the days grow short. I'm in the autumn of my years...
YP: Sing it, Frankie...
OMD: You're missing the p....no, I'm not going to say it
YP: drats
OMD: Anyway, I won't be around forever...YP: Where you going? For a fun ride in the car?
OMD: No. Someday - to that great dog beach in the sky...
YP: Can I come with you?
OMD: No, young pup, it's not your time. Besides, you have a job to do.
YP: I'd rather play at the beach.
OMD: When I'm gone, you will be in charge of the humans.
YP: But I'm just a puppy...what do I have to do?
OMD: You must guard the house and protect the family. You certainly have the bark for it.
YP: Woof!
OMD: You must chase away any vermin, especially rabbits--not that you'll ever catch them.
YP: I'll get that pesky rabbit yet! Almost, got a lizard once.
OMD. Sure you did. You must vacuum up all crumbs those sloppy humans drop.
YP: Yummy.
OMD: And most importantly, provide cuddly warmth during those cold Cali nights.
YP: Can do! But, I'll miss you, old man dog.
OMD: I'll miss you too, young pup, despite how pesky you were when you were little.
YP: Well, that's certainly a lot of food for thought, especially the crumby part.
OMD: Ugh, that's all you think about - eating! I'm changing you're name to Chubby.
YP: Well, you're scrawny. I'll kick you're old man butt.
OMD: Size matters not, ... Look at me. Judge me by size, do you?
YP: Whoa, Portie mind trick...
OMD: Much to learn, you still have...
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