Apocalypse amongst us?

Recently in the news:   throngs of red-winged blackbirds dead in Arkansas;  jackdaws dropping like fish out of the Swedish skies,  two million  (who actually counted?) fish (not Swedish) floating upside down in the Chesapeake Bay (the New York Bay would make more sense).  Teeming teams of deceased crabs washing up on England’s rocky (and now crabby) shores.  And the latest, thousands of turtle doves (thankfully Christmas has past) have fallen from the sky in Italy, like a meatball shower - if it actually rained meatballs and the meatballs were actually dead turtle doves.  No parmesan please.


Befuddled officials have done a not so-admirable job of fumbling for phenomenal explanations;  blaming the cold - because it never gets cold in the winter.  Well, I believe the cause of death for the birds was their impact with the ground.  The fish apparently drowned (or maybe a plugged in Magnutron was dropped into the frigid waters).  And the crabs were just too crabby (too much commotion surrounding the upcoming royal nuptials) and committed mass suicide.


Well, is it the End of Times?  Apparently for those creatures.  But not for the rest of us.  I still have mortgages to pay and another insufferable Flubbies season to suffer through.  As I've mentioned, when the Cubs win it all in 2012, I'll know, that the pre-historic predictions of the Mayans or Incas or Aztecs of old, were dead on.  Literally.

This is a stunt belly.  Not actually my actual belly.
Although, the beer looks pretty good.

Or maybe it is a sign, after all.  Because - are you sitting down blog readers? - (drumroll please), I have joined a gym.  Shocking.  It's opening near my house, at the bottom of the hill - near a nuclear power plant (well, not that near the plant).  But here's the best part:  it doesn't actually open for a few weeks.  So, I can say I belong to a gym without actually having to work out.  Best of both worlds.  When I do start to exercise, though, that might actually cause the apocalypse.  The end is near - for my gut, that is, not so much for the rest of you.  Although, some of you could probably stand some exercise.  And a beer.