Sign of the Apocalypse

There's a box of Twinkies in that grocery store. Not just any box of Twinkies, the last box of Twinkies that anyone will enjoy in the whole universe. Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date. Some day very soon, Life's little Twinkie gauge is gonna go... empty... Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards? - Tallahassee in Zombieland

The other day, I had mentioned that Hostess Brands, the makers of Wonder Bread, Sno Balls and Twinkies, was filing bankruptcy.   Now in my opinion, Wonder Bread is only wonderful for its multi-colored bag ties, which represent the day of the week the loaf was baked.  And Sno Balls were always to coconut-ty for my tastes (more the texture than the flavor).  It was the Twinkies of my youth, those golden sponge cakes with creamy filling, that built this body.  Thank you Mom for packing my brown bags.  And thank you Dr. Oz, for not having a show back then.


Sure, there were alternative sugary, baked snacks.  Ho-ho's were quite enjoyable to unravel.  And if you peeled the chocolate icing off of a Ding Dong, you had a spongy, yet cream filled, Ding Dong without the icing.  Oh, and a crumb cake was a rare delicacy.  Not to mention Dunkin' Donuts or Entemann's, but that's an entirely different blog post.  


Twinkies were born in 1930, in Schiller Park, IL.  Cream filled strawberry shortcake (see Folkslore post) machines would sit by idly when strawberries were out of season.  Twinkies filled the vacuum, just like they filled the void in my gastro-intestinal system and in the American psyche.


The 2009 movie Zombieland foretold of the coming (maybe) apocalypse.  It is basically a road movie, but one where you have to avoid the flesh eating Zombies.  The only thing that keeps the protagonists sane on their journey, is the quest for the rare and elusive Twinkies.  For they fear, when all of the Twinkies run out, civilization and all that is worth living for will cease to exist.  With Hostess going kaput and the future of Twinkies in jeopardy, are we a step closer to the end times?


Now, down Mexico way, Twinkies are called Los Submarinos.  It is highly doubtful that the Mayans ever experienced the delicioso Los Submarinos.  For if they had, they never would have called for the world to end - at least not until after snack time.